Ballerina (2025)
Overview
Taking place during the events of John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum, Eve Macarro begins her training in the assassin traditions of the Ruska Roma.
Cast
Ana de Armas
Eve
Keanu Reeves
John Wick
Ian McShane
Winston
Anjelica Huston
The Director
Gabriel Byrne
The Chancellor
Catalina Sandino Moreno
Lena
Ava McCarthy
Ella
Juliet Doherty
Tatiana
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JPV852
Entertaining enough spin-off that features great stunts and action sequences one would expect from the franchise and while the story isn't terribly strong (to be fair none of the JW movies had amazing plots), it was a solid time-waster and Ana de Armas was fairly good in the lead. Reeves for his part probably had about 10-minutes of screen time and likely collected a nice paycheck for a day or two of filming. I won't say it broke new ground however I did think it was a step up from John Wick: Chapter 4. **3.5/5**
CinemaSerf
This isn’t a film, it’s a live action video game with a predictable plot and loads of energetically choreographed CGI to substitute for anything vaguely akin to a story. It starts with the young “Eve” (Victoria Comte) who witnesses her father’s death at the hands of “The Chancellor” (Gabriel Byrne) before being adopted into the secret society of “John Wick” by “Winston” (Ian McShane) and his drag-like boss (Angelica Huston) where she learns to combine the artistic skills of a ballerina with deadly ninja ones - as she morphs into Ana de Armas (whilst everyone else remains exactly the same). Anyway, none of that really matters as she accidentally discovers the identity of the tribe who ruined her life and despite warnings of dire consequences, sets off on a lethal mission of retribution that takes her to a Czech Republic where everyone speaks perfect English. The thing is, it appears that her gang and the one she is pursuing have a sort of unwritten truce, and given she is about to throw that under the Skoda, Angelica has no choice other than to bring out of retirement the legendary you know who. Will that make anything any different or safer or even less repetitive? It not so much that this is derivative and really quite dull, it’s that the dialogue is woeful and the constant frying pan to fire scenarios where people get used and abused are ridiculous. Knives, guns, bottles, pots, pans, kettles - even a pair of ruthlessly applied roller skates and some flamer throwers help our heroine along but it’s hilarious that they always appear just when she needs them. She’s got the points and gone up a level, She also heals as if she were the sister of “Wolverine” and no amount of training is going to remove a six inch shard of glass from your body without it impeding your ability to scale a wall and wield a pick axe. Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood, but just like the series upon which this is based, it is unoriginal and after the umpteenth time she has survived against innumerable odds to fight again just had me wondering how long until she’s back with “Ballerina II - the Pirouette”. All of that said, though, it does look good on a cinema screen and that’s where it ought to be seen. It will be even more unimpressive on a television where you can easily hit the fast-forward button.
This woman sure gets hit in the head a lot. TBI is real.
Grenade fight! Eve's got bad grenade reaction when tables are turned. Maybe that TBI is kicking in a bit, young lady. Better start your finger games.
Sure is long. So much running. Fake running. Can't fake running. Sword spinning is stupid. Dude walked right into flamethrower range, over dead bodies, paused, smiled and then flamed. Get on the finger games. This feels much longer than new avengers.
Seems like flamethrower victims'd either be fine enough to kill or screaming and writhing on the floor. Dual flamethrower spin was cool. Overall, too much flamethrower.
He ruined Ted. He ruined Cyberpunk. Perhaps people will see Keanu's performance as ahead of its time.
Swearengen. More like Bidengen. Charon needs to be elaborately sworn in as the new guy.
